The Crate: Volume 4 – Battle Six Pack Responses (Finally!!)

OK, so this has taken way long than it ever should have to get to print!! I waited through Christmas, got somewhat busy in the new year then this weird mix of COVID, adapting to working from home, and home schooling, and suddenly we’re through Easter and still no Battle responses…

Until NOW!!

Thanks to everyone who did respond well before Christmas so my apologies this one has taken so long. Needless to say, it might be the last Crate for a little while given the stuttering momentum, so enjoy these responses and we’ll drag the records out again in the future – maybe the cold of winter provides some new opportunities…

(Given it’s been sooo long, go back and watch the original clips here:
https://www.webtmg.com.au/music/the-crate-volume-4-battle-six-pack-questions/)

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Poison v Motley Crue

Jarrod: Poison gets my vote here. 

I like “Nothing but a good time” song wise better, meaning I wouldn’t instantly change the radio station on them. Really though the film clips set these two apart. Motley Crüe’s looks more authentic, real audience, sweat etc….Adding in the car crash montage is such a cop out, so points off for that. Authenticity usually would win the day but in this instance Poison’s clip leant sooo far into to the hair metal genre I was very entertained. Choreographed, Fluorescent, Make-up and changing guitars every spin of his solo is magical

Jesse: Motley Crue. Poison was basically a recreation of the Livin’ On A Prayer film clip, only a little less important and a little more impotent.

Matt Lucas: Motley Crue just because they were slightly more manly that the guys in Poison. Both ripper tracks though

Ashman: Motley Crue with Kickstart My Heart. Two poofy, big hair glam bands so hard to distinguish but I reckon Kickstart My Heart is a better song. It’s actually a song I find myself singing whooo yeaaaah all the time to where as Poison is just poppy rubbish that sums up the 80’s right there. In fact beside singing whooo yeaaah, I actually start a bit of head banging so there in element to rock to it.

Belinda: Poison – I had to go with this option in the battle of the hair bands because honestly I wasn’t very familiar with Motley Crue… 

Troy: Poison for me.  The ‘Open Up and Say Ahhhh’ album was one of my favourites in the late ‘80’s where Motley Crue only grew on me over the years.  As such, I have to pick Poison.  I remember having a school folder where I’d copied the Poison logo on the front in about Year 5 or 6 too!!

Result: So it’s a tie; 3-3. To avoid bias, I’ll remove my response in the final count to take it to a 5 game series with Motley Crue the winner.

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Nirvana v Pearl Jam

Jarrod: Nirvana gets my vote in this one.

“Black” would be my preferred song choice but this is meant to be- ‘Unplugged’. Pearl Jam basically swapped out their electric guitars for acoustic ones, sat on stools and went on their merry way as usual. Where as Nirvana slowed the song down from the original with Dave Grohl adopting brushes and they also added strings. This really is a little unfair to Pearl Jam here because I can’t imagine Nirvana pairing this down in 1992 either.

Jesse: Nirvana. Pearl Jam should have changed the song up a bit for MTV Unplugged, got rid of the drums or something. It’s too close to a normal Pearl Jam gig.

Nirvana on the other hand has:

Dave Grohl in a skivvy, tight pony tail and on the brushes like he’s playing with Miles Davis.

Kurt in a cardigan like he’s gonna go roll some dice in the alley after the gig.

Krist Novoselic doing some Night at the Roxbury style smiling-while-head-bopping bass which I think Ash needs to incorporate more into his repertoire.

And a guy called Pat Smear.  

What’s not to love?

Matt Lucas: Nirvana About a girl – for the basic pentatonic solo and Kurt is a fellow lefty

Ashman: Now they are two good songs. I would say Black probably wins it and again because I prefer the song. Both Cobain and Vedder have a great voices and sing the living daylights out of their songs but I personally like Black better as a song. Also Pearl Jam are just the better band musically anyway and that also helps with my judging.

Belinda: Pearl Jam – There’s not many battles that Pearl Jam would lose for me (although I did have to put some thought into this one). They are still one of my favourite bands of all time and this is one of my favourite songs.

Troy: Pearl Jam the winner here.  Tough as Nirvana on MTV Unplugged is iconic early 1990’s but I prefer the lyric for Black and just overall still more a Pearl Jam fan than Nirvana.

Result: well, here we go again! 3 Nirvana vs 3 Pearl Jams. Again removing author bias from the result, Nirvana gets the win 3-2!

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Beatles v Stones

Jarrod: My vote has to go to The Beatles here.

This has all to do with how significant each song was to both bands career. Live on Ed Sullivan in the U.S. with the single after “She loves you” transported British Beatlemania to the States. This success led in turn to having the power with EMI to stop touring and become more experimental in the studio, for which I am forever grateful. “Start me up” is a nice song but by 1981 this was just another hit for The Stones. Also Mick does seem to be doing a Parody of himself in the clip. 

Jesse: The Beatles. Going a bit on personal band preference here. Just have to say that Chris’s third best drum kit puts Bongo’s to shame. No, it’s Ringo. Oh, is he there too? Someone’s got ‘old of me finger.

Matt Lucas: The Beatles – I’m not a fan of the Stones

Ashman: Prefer the Beatles as a band but I actually like the film clip to the Stones. There is like a 15 year gap in time between the songs so I should be going with the Beatles but Start Me Up is a good film clip as the Stones lads look like they’re having a good time. They also look like they’re stoned off their tits as well which is also funny. Actually Keith just looks dead (a bit like Weekend at Bernies). He’s just been propped up like a puppet with a guitar and got some strings attached to him to move him around a bit.

Belinda: Beatles – I grew up in a Beatles household and because of this my appreciation of the Rolling Stones isn’t as well developed. I have many memories of camping trips listening to The Beatles in the car. 

Troy: Fairly tough one for me and both acts are not actually that high on my ‘like’ ladder, but The Beatles win this one.  Similar to Pearl Jam above, Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show is iconic viewing from the early 60’s, with the screaming fans, etc.  Surprisingly wasn’t much good Stones footage from the same era which I was happy to post to contest so maybe the Beatles win this one by default!!

Result: Clear cut, The Beatles win here, and depending how you interpret Ashman’s answer, it could have been a sweep!

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Young MC v MC Hammer

Jarrod: Mark me down for Young MC.

MC Hammer’s pants and dance are probably more iconic but I had heard ”Superfreak” in primary school so I was totally against ripping off another song like that. Little did I know this would be the accepted future rather than a novelty. I didn’t recognise the “Bust a move” sample so I was more lenient with it. Guest girl vocals,  Flea on bass and lyrics which would never come up in casual conversation sold it for me eg. ‘A chick walks by you wish you could sex her’. Pardon me ma’am could I sex you?

Jesse: Close one. I’m going to have to lean towards Young MC. Hammer had the most success, but the song is just too repetitive for me, and relies too heavily on the Superfreak sample. At least Young MC had Flea on bass, so there’s a bit more respect there. Plus MC Hammer might be the name of Shane Heal as a rapper, and nobody wants to hear that.

Matt Lucas: Young MC – some lyrical genius eg. “Music comes on people start to dance but then you ate so much you nearly split your pants”

Ashman: Now this is a hard one. As iconic as Hammer is with this song and film clip, I actually prefer Young MC. The song is funny and I always have a laugh when I hear it. Although he’s not Young anymore so he should called OldFat MC instead.

Belinda: Young MC – When these 2 songs were released I thought You Can’t Touch This was one of the most annoying songs on the planet! My apologies to those who picked that as their winner in this matchup….. 

Troy: MC Hammer got the most success from his track, but for me Young MC has the staying power.  It isn’t quite as annoying and poppy as MC Hammer’s effort and although I like both probably more than some of my other winners on this list, there can only be one winner from this battle…  ‘don’t just stand there, bust a move’!!!

Result: And there we have it, consensus finally!! A 6-0 sweep for Young MC!! Sorry Hammer, but Young MC got ya, so don’t just stand there bust a move!

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Smashing Pumpkins v Radiohead

Jarrod: Smashing Pumpkins wins this for me in a close one.

Radiohead’s OK Computer was such a huge album for them, such a simple well executed idea for the film clip and one of my favourite bass lines but, the light-hearted nostalgic dig at bumming around teenagers in “1979” was a cool change up from the seriousness of “Mellon-Collie”. Silly band cameos and Corgan finally embracing the bald was also overdue (no comb-overs). The double album was Billy Corgan squeezing the last out of the Pumpkins sound that I loved, where as the Radiohead sound that I loved was still to come.

Jesse: Going to have to go Radiohead. Again, a band preference. And the 1979 film clip makes me dizzy watching it.

Matt Lucas: The Smashing Pumpkins 1979 but again both ripper tracks

Ashman: It just got harder. I like both these songs and Radiohead always do good film clips. But with that said, I have a soft spot for 1979 and the Pumpkins. It all comes down to that time in my life when this album came out. I have a lot of great memories for this period and this song is one of them that conjures up good memories. The film clip is great and the song is just catchy with some of Billy Corgan’s finest work.

Belinda: Samshing Pumpkins – Love this song! Never get sick of hearing it. I remember Smashing Pumpkins being on high rotation along with Pearl Jam on my CD player! 

Troy: Surprisingly easy one for me – Smashing Pumpkins 1979 by the length of the Flemington straight!  I don’t mind Radiohead, no issue there but 1979 by the Pumpkins is one of my lesser listened to favourite tracks.  The mellow beat which just taps along in the background catches in my head every listen and I often get this one stuck in my head for a couple of days after each listen…

Result: With only one vote going the way of Radiohead, they surprisingly lose this one 5-1. Smashing Pumpkins smashing it out of the park here.

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Chisel v INXS

Jarrod: INXS has my vote.

This one is probably the closest contest. On the one hand Cold Chisel sounds so good live with Ian Moss back up vocals and such a recognisable Piano part, and INXS really defines the 80’s sound and look in this one. Both so iconic, one becoming the unofficial Australian anthem and the other selling Australia to the world. What puts “Need you Tonight” over the top is that I was of early high school age when it came out, so it just means more to me at the crucial stage of when I was honing my musical taste.

Jesse: INXS for this one. Cold Chisel are too wife beater singlet and stubbies. They are the West End Draught to INXS’s strawberry daquiri. And while I’d rather something somewhere in between, at least when you have a strawberry daquiri it’s just because puberty hasn’t hit yet, you aren’t knowingly drinking cat’s piss.

Matt Lucas: Cold Chisel – I can’t stand INXS and their crappy pop rock 80’s sound

Ashman: OK as much as Chisel are a true Aussie pub rock band etc etc… I actually hate Khe Sanh the song. It’s boring and dare I say overrated. I reckon there are better Chisel songs out there. But anyway that’s me personally. So Need You Tonight by INXS is my pick and the song is actually pretty good. It’s got a great hook in it and grove to it so it wins for me here. Hands down! Besides Gary Gary Beers on bass, I mean not one Gary, but two and your last name is Beers. Need I say more!

Belinda: Chisel – Of all the matchups this was actually my hardest choice… I love INXS but I’m the end…. this is another one I selected based on memories of childhood with my family.  

Troy: Chisel is the sentimental choice here, but in thinking it through and looking back on both acts, INXS were more in my era.  As such, they get my vote here.  Chisel is iconic Aussie rock, no dispute there.  However by the time I was finding a musical identity Barnsey and Mossy were off doing Flame Tres and finding Tuckers Daughter, where INXS had a fleeting moment where you could argue them as the biggest act in the world (post Queen, and just before U2 really went out of this stratosphere mode!)  Chisel never had that level of success and I think it shows through in some of the polish on the INXS tracks overall.  Hutchence was pure genius, INXS my vote.

Result: 4-2 for INXS in a fairly close one. Some polarising responses and I wonder if the fact Chisel were basically done when most of us were forming our own musical tastes hurt them here??

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So there is it, hope you enjoy everyone’s responses and maybe I’ll be back with Volume 5 later in the year…

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